You and I
by CobraBillyJoe
Summary: SEQUEL TO STAND BY ME. Equius and Mertha are in holy matrimony, but Eridan does not approve of Equius being with a 'loww-blood like Mertha' and threatens to tell The Condesce. Will Eridan actually get off his lazy ass and do it? Or is he just pulling Equius' chain to freak him out? And what happens when Mertha is pregnant during all of this?
1. Oh Shit What's Going On

**Yoü and I**

**WARNING: This is a hell of a lot more inappropriate than the first one. BE WARNED.**

Since Equius and Mertha had gotten together, everything seemed perfect, like a movie.

First, they got into the troll equivalent of marriage. They moved in together, and had a small ceremony.

Now, I know you're all thinking they did _it_ on their wedding night…

Well no.

They didn't do _it_.

Anyways, now they were in a lifelong Matespritship, and whatever.

Anyways, to the story part.

Equius did want a grub. Mertha wanted a grub. They both wanted grubs. However, that would have to wait.

At the moment Equius had things to take care of. First off, he had to talk to the high-bloods, because he had never gotten approval to marry a gutter-blood.

That's technically what Mertha is. Equius didn't want to use that term when talking about Mertha, because he loves Mertha. Other trolls (who aren't Nepeta, Mertha, or higher blooded then Equius) he might still refer to like this.

Now why did Equius need approval from the high-bloods? Because it's just how he is. Most of the time, if he's not sure what to do, he asks the high-bloods (Gamzee, Eridan, and Feferi) for permission.

First, he talked to Gamzee.

Yes, Gamzee tried to kill Equius, and yes, Equius didn't like Gamzee, but Gamzee was still higher blooded.

It didn't even matter. Gamzee still was the superior.

"D- I have come to seek the approval of the high-bloods on my recent engagement and matrimony of Mertha"

"YeAh YeAh, WhAtEvEr, KeEp HeR sHe ScArEs Me" Gamzee trembled, remembering Mertha going psycho on him.

"D- Okay then"

Then, Equius went to Feferi.

"You and Mert)(a are wedded? O)( )(ow -EXCITING!" Feferi squealed happy for Equius.

Equius was quite pleased with how everything was going so far, and how two out of three of the highest high-bloods approved.

Last was Eridan. Eridan was a crotchety guy. Not as crabby as Karkat, but Eridan was pretty sour.

Equius was a bit worried.

"D- I've come for-"

"i knoww wwhat you're here for. You and the loww-blooded mistress mert havve had a ceremony of matrimony."

"D- How e%actly did you know that?" Equius cocked his head.

"i havve my wways" said Eridan "and I disaprovve. I dislike landwwellers, especially the loww-blooded ones, and wwhat you've done is a horrible misdeed!" Eridan said in a dark tone

"D- At this point I don't care, if it's Mertha." Equius crossed his arms.

"Eq, wwhat has happened to you. you used to hold up the hemochaste-system so wwell. Wwhat happened?" Eridan raised an eyebrow.

"D- I haven't changed. I still believe in the system. I just fell in love with someone who is lower-blooded then me. It is not a crime"

"it may not be a crime, but it i find it very improper." Eridan stuck his nose up "just imagine if Her Imperious Condescension found out?" Eridan made an evil looking face.

Equius was scared of The Condesce's power. Of course, Equius wasn't quite sure where the condesce fell on this specific matter.

Equius knew the Condesce was quite vain, and usually was more likely to punish someone for a reason that had to do with her appearance, rather than actual relevant situation.

Plus, Eridan was full of shit.

Equius knew Eridan would be too much of a coward to do anything about this, so Equius went home, and didn't even think of any of it.

He got Feferi's approval, and she was the highest of them all, so that is all that mattered.

Equius returned to his and Mertha's hive.

What he found was a surprise.

There was a bucket on the counter-top.

Equius wondered what that was about.

Then Mertha came out in sexy lingerie.

Equius was a bit surprised.

"D- Oh, um…Mertha, what is that for?" Equius coughed, then looked to the side.

Then Mertha picked up the bucket and started doing a suggestive dance.

Equius started sweating.

"D- I need a towel"

Equius was not prepared for what happened next. Mertha started pulling off his clothes, and kissing his face.

Then, well, I'll just say they had one hell of a good night.


	2. Clearing things up for guest reviewer

A/N

This isn't really a chapter, it's just clearing up something for a reviewer.

To the guest who said:

_"Guest 5/1/13 . chapter 1_

_Trolls can't have grubs. It's physically impossible for a troll to have a grub. And everyone is ooc. Eridan wouldn't care if Equius was matesprits with a lowblood. It's not a big deal, the Condese wouldn't cull you for being in a quadrant with a lowblood. But faking a higher blood color would get you work on keeping the characters in character, and follow the rules already set by canon. Your writing isn't bad, you just need to keep everyone in character."_

Anyways, to clear up.

1. Eridan was joking. He doesn't care, he was trying to scare Equius. 'Cause Eridan's a jerk sometimes.

2. Once again, with the whole joking thing, The Condesce wouldn't even give a fuck about who Equius is with. She's too busy looking at herself in a mirror.

3. The faking a higher blood color thing was resolved in chapters 2, 3, and 4 of the other story. Also, everyone but Equius and Nepeta knew that Mertha was an olive blood. She only lied to those two. (If she lied to Equius she had no choice but to lie to Nepeta).

4. Now, it's not physically impossible for a troll to have a grub by natural ways other than via mother-grub, with the Imperial Drone collecting the genetic material.

I direct you two Tumblr User Bibliofanatic's head-canon, which I think is quite accurate:

_"So my theory is, is that all trolls are sexually male but the female trolls also have a nook. So under normal circumstances all trolls do their thing when the buckets come around but when there is no mother-grub it's still possible to reproduce in a more direct manner._

_On that line of thought I have a further head canon where when trolls reproduce in this manner they become emotionally attached to their offspring which is counter-intuitive to their natural state. (ie. Whilst the Dolorosa wasn't the genetic donor for the Sufferer, she became attached and gave up her duties to raise him.)"_

____So it isn't physically impossible.

Plus, what Hussie said in-universe was quite vague and general, and never even mentioned the natural more direct way.

However, that doesn't mean it's impossible.

Nothing is impossible.

Weird things have happened that caused human males to have babies. (Some weren't FTM.)

And finally, when someone takes my stories seriously, I do have to remind them, I've only been into Homestuck for 6 months.

I don't know everything.

And a lot of the info I use is other people's head-canons.

Good day and god bless.

Next chapter will be coming up soon.


End file.
